Harry Potter on Facebook!
by DracoM-lover
Summary: What would happend if Harry Potter guys had Facebook?  btw. i don't own harry potter. or the characters. J.K. Rowling does.  Nice reviews please!


**Neville Longbottom **has just joined the death-eathers

(**Draco Malfoy**,**Lord Voldemort**, **Bellatrix Lestrange** and 5 others like this)

**Bellatrix Lestrange****:** finally! i knew you missed me dear =)

/

**Hermione Granger**is now angry at her boyfriend

(**Victor Krum **likes this)

**Harry Potter****:**what happened?

**Ron Weasley ****:**no idea :/

**Victor Krum****:**i knew she was coming back to me someday ;)

**Hermione Granger: **just leave me alone!

/

**Severus Snape** is now dead

(**Lord Voldemort** and **Lucius Malfoy**like this)

**Lucius Malfoy****:**you did a great job, my lord

**Lord Voldemort****:**i know lucius, i always do ;)

**Harry Potter****:**yeah, yeah, sure you do.

**Lord Voldemort ****:** why the fuck i have you in my friends?

/

**Ron Weasley –**** Hermione Granger**i still love you

/

**Ron Weasley –**** Hermione Granger**do you?

/

**Hermione Granger –**** Ron Weasley **yes i do ron, i was just mad at the world at the momment.

(**Ron Weasley **and **Harry Potter **like this)

/

**Draco Malfoy** is scared

**Ron Weasley****:** we know man, you are always like that.

(**Harry Potter **like this)

**Draco Malfoy **¬¬

/

**Neville Lon****gbottom** wuahahahah!

(**Lord Voldemort**, **Bellatrix Lestrange** and 10 others like this)

**Bellatrix Lestrange****:** oh kid you're gonna make me cry :')

**Harry Potter****:** you left us Neville :(

**Neville Longbottom: **i know Harry, is just that, was sick of you.

**Bellatrix Lestrange: **yay! that's the attitude babe!

**Neville Longbottom: **:)

/

**Lavender Brown –**** Ron Weasley**don't you even miss me?

**Ron Weasley – Lavender Brown: **no i don't, im sorry Lav :(

/

**Draco Malfoy **is the head of Slytherin

(**Lucius Malfoy** and **Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy **like this)

**George Weasley****:**let me guess…

**Draco Malfoy****:** what?

**Fred Weasley****:**you are scared! haha

**Albus Dumbledore****:** sure he is kids

**Draco Malfoy:** i still don't understand two things: 1)why i have Gryffindor guys in my friends 2) and why this old-dead-man is talking to me by facebook :/

/

**Luna Lovegood**loves Threatsals

(**Harry Potter **likes this)

**Hermione Granger****:**i still think you are crazy, cuz Threatsals do not exist :/

/

**Fleur De Lacour**is pregnant

**Gabrielle De Lacour****:**congrats sis! Im gonna be an auntie! is bill the daddey rite?

**Fleur De Lacour****:** of course gabrielle, who else can be?

**Gabrielle De Lacour:**no idea fleur, no idea.

/

**Ginny Weasley** is mad at **Dean Thomas**

(**Harry Potter** likes this)

/

**Bellatrix Lestrange –**** Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy** wanna come to kill some 'losers', cissy?

**Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy** **:**yeah, see you in 30 min.

**Bellatrix Lestrange****:**okay :)

/

**Fred Weasley **and **George Weasley**are bothering **Ron Weasley**

**Ron Weasley** is being bothered by** Fred Weasley **and** George Weasley**

**Molly Weasley** what did i told you about bothering your brother!

**Fred Weasley **sorry mom!

**George Weasley **sorry mom!

/

**Dobby the elf –**** Kreacher the elf** hi! i have wi-fi connection underground! isn't it great?

**Kreacher the elf****:**yeah, sure gre… wait a minute, weren't you dead?

**Dobby the elf****:**fuck the way, he discovered me :S

/

**Revenclaw **had dissapeard

**Cho Chang **oh, how 'cool' is this… where the fuck am i now?

**Draco Malfoy****:** want me to be honest?

**Cho Chang****:**no

**Draco Malfoy:** i don't care it disappeared, im a slytherin! haha!

**Cho Chang: **i said no :(

/

**Lord Voldemort**likes snakes

**Nagini****:** are you thinking of getting a new one or something?

**Lord Voldemort****:** no way dear :)

**Nagini****:** oh that's cool

**Lord Voldemort****:** there's just one fact… may i ask?

**Nagini****:**sure man

**Lord Voldemort: **you are a snake right? then how do you write?

**Nagini: **Oh oh oh, it's magic, you know, never believe is not so… ;)

/

**Draco Malfoy –**** Vincent Crabbe** we haven't talked in ages dudes

**Gregory Goyle****:** we know man, we decided so, you were always scared ;/

**Draco Malfoy:** fuck the weasleys and their comments ¬

/

**Ron Weasley** speaks is parcel

(**Lord Voldemort**, **Harry Potter**, and other 3 likes this)

View all 12 comments

**Lord Voldemort: **that's ok harry, but you need to add an 'S'

**Harry Potter:** cool! thanks vold… wait a second, since when do i talk to you?

**Lord Voldemort:** no idea man, no idea.

/

**Ron Weasley** feels lonely

**Hermione Granger**wait, what? isn't enough with me?

**Ron Weasley **yeah but…

**Hermione Granger **but…?

**Hermione Granger **BUT…?

**Hermione Granger **ron please answer me! i want your love

/

**Draco Malfoy**hates **Harry Potter**

(**Lord Voldemort** and 20 others like this)

**Luna Lovegood****:** omfg! draco is feeling something that's not scare!

**Draco Malfoy: **im sorry, (actually, im not) do i know you ?

**Luna Lovegood****:** thanks to the phoenix, you don't

**D****raco Malfoy:**then why did you added me?

**Luna Lovegood:** first, 'cause you were a Hogwarts student, and second, 'cause you are the only person i know that has the same hair-colour as me

**Draco Malfoy****:** wow... you are right! wanna go magic bowling?

**Luna Lovegood: **sure!

/

**Draco Malfoy **is in a relationship with** Luna Lovegood**

**Harry Potter** sometimes i want a 'dislike' buttom. :

**Draco Malfoy **you are just jealous

**Harry Potter **no im not!

**Draco Malfoy **ok harry, i totally believe you… (not)

/

**Nymphadora Tonks **is dying her hair

**Remus Lupin: **not again…

**Hermione Granger****:** shut up lupin! that's cool tonks! which colour did you choose this time?

**Ny****mphadora Tonks:** i wanted purple, but i already had it purple, so i decided green. is not the best colour, but i look totally hot on it

**Hermione Granger: **sure you do babe!

/

**Bellatrix Lestrange**is meeting **Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy** at the forbidden forest.

/

**Minerva ****McGonagall ****just** joined facebook

(**Albus Dumbledore, Horace Slughorn** and 3 others like this)

/

**Severus Snape **wants a nose surgery

**Harry Potter****:** come on dude! you are dead!

**Severus Snape****:** i have a name, and it's not 'dude', potter

**Harry Potter****:** im sorry dud… i mean, professor snape.

**Severus Snape****:**much better, potter

/

**Sirius Black – Harry Potter **hey harry! wassup?

**Harry Potter****:** WTF? is that you sirius?

**Sirius Black****:** actually, im not, is Voldemort talking to you, idiot ¬¬

/

**Bill Weasley** had a beautiful baby boy

**Fleur De Lacour****:** it's really pretty (:

**Gabrielle De Lacour****:** im an auntie =D

**Draco Malfoy****:**uh-oh, more weasleys no please.

/

**Minerva ****McGonagall –** **Albus Dumbledore **hey albus, what's up?

**Albus Dumbledore****:** am i suppoused to answer you 'the sky' or something?

**Severus Snape****:** im sorry, i guess this is the first time i do it, but i couldn't resist… YOU ARE AN IDIOT OLD MAN! HAHAAHAHAHAHAH…

**Harry Potter****:** omg everyone come to this post! snape just laughed!

**Lord Voldemort****:** wtf? didn't i killed you, little ugly insect? and btw, i can't believe you just laughed!

**Severus Snape:** oh, so now it's me the ugly? you have no nose man!

**Draco Malfoy:** he has a point dude :|

**Lord Voldemort:** oh well 'dude' you dye your hair! just like your father and your girlfriend

**Draco Malfoy: **no i don't!

**Lord Voldemort: **'no you don't' lol

/

**Ron Weasley** and **Hermione Granger**are engaged

(**Harry Potter**, **Ginny Weasley** and 33 others like this)

View all 27 comments

**Ginny Weasley****:** congrats. make sure you invite me to the wedding :P

**Draco Malfoy****:**** '**congrats. make sure you invite me to the wedding…' blah blah blah, you really suck

**Harry Potter: **shut up malfoy, you're single!

**Draco Malfoy: **no im not :P

**Luna Lovegood: **yes you are

**Draco Malfoy: **whatttttt ?

/

**Luna Lovegood** has changed her relationship status to 'single'

View all 13 comments

**Draco Malfoy: **did i do anything wrong?

**Harry Potter:** leave her alone malfoy.

/

**Severus Snape** likes sectumsempra

(**Harry Potter**, **Bellatrix Lestrange**, **Lucius Malfoy** and 21 others like this)

/

**Bellatrix Lestrange** can't believe magic-tunes accepted as ringtone my song 'i killed sirius black'

**Lord Voldemort****:** i like the tittle, is interesting. sing it

**Bellatrix Lestrange: **well, hum, i killed sirius black, i killed sirius black, and you know, it follows like that!

/

**Draco Malfoy** hates Hogwarts

/

**Albus Dumbledore**is thinking about shaving his long beard

**Severus Snape****:**it's not a bad idea

**Albus Dumbledore****:**shut up killer

**Severus Snape****:**but you asked me to kill you!

/

**Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy**is worried about her son

**Bellatrix Lestrange****:** tell me something you are not worried about cissy!

**Lucius Malfoy****:** leave her alone bella,

**Bellatrix Lestrange****:** oh, you just won the prize to the husband of the year… loser ¬.¬

/

**Harry Potter** is going to visit **Hagrid**

**Hagrid **likes this

**Draco Malfoy****:** don't you have a surname, giant?

**Hagrid****:** why are you always in everything? and btw, yes i do, but im not gonna tell it to anyone

**Draco Malfoy: **im pretty sure Potter knows it…

**Hagrid: **well, actually, yes

**Draco Malfoy: **'well, actually yes' blah blah blah

**Harry Potter: **touche

/

**Herimione Granger **invites y'all to the wedding

(**Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley **and other 6 like this)

**Ginny Weasley****:** congrats guys!

**Molly Weasley: **oh, my little baby is getting married :')

**Ron Weasley: **hermione tell me why you have my mom on your friends?

**Hermione Granger: **i just thought it would be nice :D

/

**Draco Malfoy **likes dark forces

(**Lucius Malfoy **likes this)

**Harry Potter****:**nobody believes you man

**Draco Malfoy:** well, nobody cares what you say man ;)

**Harry Potter: **haha, funny malfoy… not

/

**James Potter**im backkkkkkk!

**Harry Potter: **DAD? weren't you.. ya know,… d… dea.. dead?

**James Potter: **fuck

/

**James Potter **just deleted his facebook

/

**Lord Voldemort **has the power of the world

**Harry Potter****:** actually, i do, i am the chose one :D

**Lord Voldemort: **whatever, shut up loser. you suck

/

**Bellatrix Lestrange **just finished killing some losers with **Narcissa Letrange-Malfoy**

(**Lucius Malfoy**,**Lord Voldemort **and other 213 like this)

View all 100 comments

**Bellatrix Lestrange: **ok ok say what you want lucius, but it was fun, right cissy ?

**Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy: **sure it was bella!

/

**Hermione Granger **is about to marry **Ron Weasley **

(**Ginny Weasley **likes this)

/

**Harry Potter **and **Draco Malfoy **are hating each other

**Lucius Malfoy: **wtf draco? since when you are friends with… this?

**Draco Malfoy: **we are not friends dad, we were actually fighting, don't you read dad?

**Bellatrix Lestrange: **oh, im so proud of you kid :'D

**Harry Potter: **remember me to block death-eathers

/

**Draco Malfoy **is practicing 'Expecto Patronum' at **Bellatrix Lestrange **house

(**Bellatrix Lestrange **likes this)

**Harry Potter****:** oh, you r just learning little boy

**Draco Malfoy****:**here you go! avada kedavra!

**Harry Potter****:**that made horrible injuries on me, draco ;P

**Bellatrix Lestrange****:**that was pretty bad draco.

**Draco Malfoy: **shut up bella.

/

**Edward Cullen **i hate wizards.

**Draco Malfoy****:**can anyone tell me why this loser is in here :/

**Harry Potter****:** i guess this is the first time im in agree with you draco

**Draco Malfoy****:**ugh, now i gotta delete the comment.

/

**Hermione Granger **likes let's kill the vampires, the cullen's suck, go on wizards! and 215 more.

(**Harry Potter**, **Ron Weasley**, **Luna Lovegood** and others 36 likes this)

/

**Draco Malf****oy**and **Luna Lovegood**are in a relationship

**Harry Potter: **WTF? again luna?

**Luna Lovegood: **nope, actually i hacked her (draco)

**Draco Malfoy: **yup, that's true he hacked me (luna)

**Luna Lovegood: **oh shit. (draco)

/

**Ginny Weasley** is now single

**Hermione Granger****:**what happened?

**Ginny Weasley****:**dean cheated on me :/

**Hermione Granger****:**omg, i'm so sorry. call me if you need to talk x

**Ginny Weasley****:**thanks, 'mione. you're the best x

**Harry Potter****:** yeah, call me too =)

**Ginny Weasley****:**shut up potter

**Harry Potter: **oh gosh, that's sooooo draco.

/

**Harry Potter – Ginny Weasley ** wanna go and have some butter beer?

**Ginny Weasley****:** sure!

**Harry Potter****:**cool, meet you in 1 hour.

**Ginny Weasley****: **kk babe =)

/

**Lord Voldemort **– **Neville Longbottom ** contact me when you can son, i have some work for you.

**Neville Longbottom****:** yes sir?

**Lord Voldemort****:** wanna go and kill some ppl?

**Neville Longbottom****:** eeh. ok i guess

**Lord Voldemort: **ok, meet me at the subway, did i spelled that ok?

**Neville Longbottom: **yes mah lord you did

**Lord Voldemort: **cool.

/

**Harry Potter** is now a relationship with **Ginny Weasley **

**Ginny Weasley****:** call me later, hun x

/

**Ginny Weasley** is now in a relationship with **Harry Potter**

/

**Nymphadora Tonks** has just had a baby boy

(**Hermione Granger**, **Remus Lupin**, **Harry Potter**and 31 others like this)

**Remus Lupin****:**we love you teddy ! xx

**Hermione Granger****:**aww :')

**Harry Potter****:**congrats guys! seriously! :)

**Nymphadora Tonks****:** oh harry! guess what…

**Remus Lupin: **you r god father!

**Harry Potter: **really? omg guys thx you so much! i'll be always thankful!

/

**Ron ****Weasley**is happily married

(**Harry Potter**and 4 others like this)

**Harry Potter****:** good ron ;)

**Hermione Granger****:** i love u babe!

**Lavender Brown****:** fuck you both

**Nymphadora Tonks: **get over it lav

**Lavender Brown: **shut up tonks, i hate you

**Nymphadora Tonks: ** n'aww :'(

/

**Ginny Weasley** and **Harry Potter** are engaged

(**Molly Weasley, Ron Weasley** and 35 others like this)

View all 29 comments

**Hermione Granger****:**awww... yay! congrats! it was time, rite?

**Ron Weasley****:**sure it was babe ;)

/

**Draco Malfoy** argh im tired of bellatrix!

(**Narcissa Lestrange-Malfoy**, **Severus Snape** and 30 others like this)

**Bellatrix Lestrange: **good then kid, im tired of you!

/

**Ginny Weasley**and **Harry Potter**are married

View all 45 comments

**Draco Malfoy****:**omfg, i never thought anyone would love you potter :/

**Harry Potter****:** get over it dude, your girlfriend left you :/

**Draco Malfoy:** didn't you ever thought that maybe it was cuz i didn't wanted to be with her any longer?

**Luna Lovegood:** actually, i didn't gave him time, he knows the whole story

**Draco Malfoy: **that's kinda ironic, cuz potter knows it, but i don't :/

**Luna Lovegood: **it's just that i didn't found you pretty anymore, and i don't use to date death-eathers, actually no slytherins. why don't you go with pancy? she's part of slytherin

**Draco Malfoy: **but i don't like pancy, i like you babe x

**Luna Lovegood: ** i don't really care a damn :/

**Draco Malfoy: ** :'(

**Harry Potter:** oh, look the baby is crying!

**Draco Malfoy: **SHUT UP POTTER!

**Luna Lovegood: **SHUT UP HARRY!

**Harry Potter: **but this is my post guys!

**Draco Malfoy: **haha, that was fun, wanna meet me in the forest?

**Luna Lovegood: **mm. i guess it's fine ;3

**Draco Malfoy: ** gr8

**Harry Potter: **wtf?

/

**Hermione Granger** after all, this facebook thingy wasn't to bad ;)

(**Harry Potter**, **Ron Weasley**, **Draco Malfoy** and other 789 like this)

View all 652 comments

**Harry Potter****:** totally agree with ya!

**Draco Malfoy****:** i cannot beliebe i agree with one of you again!

**Ron Weasley: **then don't comment!

**Luna Lovegood: **leave him alone!

**Ron Weasley: **wtf?

**Hermione Granger: **wtf?

**Ginny Weasley: **wtf?

**Harry Potter: **wtf?

**Draco Malfoy: **haha, surprised griffyndors? she loves meee :P why don't you join the death-eathers?

**Luna Lovegood: **no way baby ;)

**Draco Malfoy: ** ok, that's fine… i guess.

**Luna Lovegood: **love ya xxx

**Draco Malfoy: **love ya too xxx


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